"Don't believe everything you think"
Thubten Chodron
Inner Critic Work

  • The inner critic is an internalised dialogue which runs a constant background critical voice and is the root of most self-destructive and maladaptive behaviours.
  • Sometimes called the super ego, it involves ever harsher and more punitive self judgements.
  • When activated, usually under stress, it creates a relentless stream of negative thoughts, feelings and beliefs that undermines our opinions of ourselves and others. Positive hopes and beliefs are systematically replaced by harsh self-criticism, uncertainty,  defensiveness and sometimes even destructive actions and addictive patterns.
  • The critic is particularly invasive and pernicious, it impacts all aspects of our lives, work and relationships, as well as our health.
  • It robs us of our confidence and effectiveness, creating incapacitating stuckness around decision-making and goal-directed activities.
  • The effects are far reaching and incredibly painful, and yet in coaching it is possible to learn to work with the critic and change often entrenched beliefs and patterns.

How do we do this work?
  • We safely start to hear the dialogue which accompanies our thoughts, and to identify the characteristics which let us know the inner critic is at work.
  • When we are aware of comparing ourselves negatively with others and procrastinating with important areas, we can be sure that the critic is around.
  • Once identified, we can gradually become more skilled at spotting the presence of the critical voice, and challenging its negative judgements.
  • When a degree of separation from the power of the critic has been achieved, we can start to see what purpose the critic may once have served, and that becomes another tool for moving away from the harsh and incapacitating presence of the critic.
  • With sustained practice and a compassionate approach to forgive ourselves when we slip back into old habits, the critic can become far less of a cruel persecutor, and can even become an ally at times. We gain a space between the triggering event and in that space lies the option to choose not to allow the critic to step in and berate us in the habitual way.
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